Why Complaints Are Opportunities

For every parent who complains, research suggests between five and twenty others had the same concern but said nothing. They just left. A complaining parent is giving you information that silent leavers take with them, and they are giving you a chance to fix the problem.

Handled well, a complaint can actually strengthen the relationship. Studies consistently show that customers whose complaints are resolved satisfactorily become more loyal than customers who never had a problem in the first place. This is called the service recovery paradox, and it works because resolving a complaint demonstrates that you listen, you care, and you act.

Handled badly, a complaint becomes a review on Google, a post on the local Facebook group, and ten families who will never book with you. The difference between these two outcomes is not luck. It is process.

The HEARD Framework

HEARD is a structured approach to complaint handling that works in person, on the phone, and in writing. It ensures you cover every step and do not skip to defensiveness, which is the natural human response when someone criticises your business.

H - Hear

Let the parent speak without interrupting. This is harder than it sounds, because your instinct will be to explain, defend, or correct. Resist. The parent needs to feel heard before they can hear you.

Use active listening: nod, make eye contact (if in person), and use brief verbal acknowledgements ("I see," "Go on," "I understand"). Do not jump in with solutions. Do not say "but." Let them finish completely.

E - Empathise

Acknowledge the parent's feelings. This is not the same as admitting fault. You are validating their experience, not accepting their interpretation of events.

"I can see why that would be frustrating" is empathy. "I understand why you are concerned about that" is empathy. "You are right, we were terrible" is unnecessary self-flagellation. "I understand, but..." is not empathy at all — it is a dismissal with a polite wrapper.

A - Apologise

Apologise for the experience, even if you do not yet know whether your organisation was at fault. "I am sorry that happened" is different from "I am sorry we did that." The first acknowledges the negative experience. The second admits liability. Use the first until you have investigated the facts.

R - Resolve

Ask the parent what resolution they are looking for. You might be surprised. Many parents do not want a refund. They want to know the problem will not happen again. They want to be reassured that you take their concern seriously.

If you can resolve the issue immediately, do so. If you need time to investigate, say so clearly: "I want to look into this properly. I will speak to the team involved and come back to you by Friday." Then actually do it by Friday. Broken promises on resolution timelines are worse than the original complaint.

D - Diagnose

After resolving the immediate complaint, investigate the root cause. Was this a one-off or a pattern? Is there a system failure, a training gap, or a staff issue that needs addressing? Use the complaint as data. If three parents in one term complain about the same instructor's communication style, that is not three isolated incidents. It is a training need.

Common Complaint Types and Responses

"My Child Is Not Progressing"

This is the most common complaint in children's activity businesses. The parent sees other children achieving milestones and their child is not keeping pace.

Response approach: Acknowledge the concern. Explain what progression looks like for their child specifically (it may not be the same as others). Share specific observations about what the child is doing well. Discuss what the child is working on next and what the parent can support at home. Offer to set up a short review meeting with the instructor to discuss a personalised plan.

"The Instructor Was Rude / Unfair"

Complaints about individual staff members require careful handling. You must take the concern seriously without throwing your employee under the bus.

Response approach: Thank the parent for telling you. Acknowledge that their child's experience matters. Do not make excuses for the instructor. Say you will speak to the team member and follow up. Then actually speak to the instructor, hear their perspective, and make a fair assessment. Go back to the parent with a balanced response.

"The Class Is Too Crowded / Chaotic"

This complaint often reflects a genuine problem. If a parent feels the class is chaotic, other parents probably feel the same way.

Response approach: Thank them for the feedback. Check your actual numbers against your capacity policy. Observe the class in question. If the concern is valid, take action: reduce numbers, add an assistant, restructure the session. Tell the parent what you have done.

"I Want a Refund"

Refund requests are often the result of accumulated frustration, not a single incident. By the time a parent asks for money back, they have usually been unhappy for a while.

Response approach: Understand what they are actually unhappy about before discussing money. Often, resolving the underlying issue means the refund request disappears. If a refund is appropriate, process it promptly and gracefully. A begrudging refund after a fight does more brand damage than the refund costs.

Unreasonable Complaints: When to Stand Firm

Most complaints are reasonable even if they are emotionally delivered. Occasionally, you will encounter a complaint that is not reasonable, and you need to handle it differently.

Recognising Unreasonable Complaints

Demands that would compromise the safety or experience of other children
Repeated complaints about issues that have been thoroughly addressed
Aggressive, threatening, or abusive behaviour towards your staff
Complaints that are clearly motivated by a desire for a refund rather than a genuine concern
Unrealistic expectations that no provider could meet

How to Stand Firm

Be calm, clear, and firm. Acknowledge their frustration. Explain what you can and cannot do. Use phrases like: "I understand your frustration, and I want to help. What I can offer is..." followed by what is realistic. If their behaviour is aggressive, it is completely appropriate to say: "I want to resolve this, but I need the conversation to remain respectful. If that is not possible right now, let's continue this in writing."

Document everything. If a complaint escalates to threats or abuse, you have the right to terminate the customer relationship. Put this in writing, explain your reasons, and offer a pro-rata refund for unused sessions.

Social Media Complaints

A complaint on social media has an audience. That changes how you respond.

Public Response Principles

Respond quickly: Silence on a public complaint looks like you do not care. Aim for a response within a few hours.
Acknowledge publicly, resolve privately: Your public response should thank the person for raising the concern and invite them to contact you directly. "Thank you for letting us know about this. We take all feedback seriously. Please send us a direct message or call us on [number] so we can look into this for you." This shows the audience you are responsive without playing out the details publicly.
Never argue publicly: Even if the complaint is unfair or factually wrong, arguing on social media makes you look defensive. Move the conversation to a private channel immediately.
Do not delete complaints: Unless they contain offensive language, personal information, or are clearly spam. Deleting a genuine complaint often leads to the person reposting it with "and then they deleted my review," which is worse.

Documentation and Record-Keeping

Every complaint should be recorded, regardless of how it was received or how quickly it was resolved.

What to Record

Date and time of the complaint
Who complained and how (in person, phone, email, social media)
Summary of the complaint in the parent's own words
Who handled the complaint
What investigation was conducted
What resolution was offered and whether it was accepted
Any follow-up actions and their completion dates

AMES allows you to log communications and notes against customer records, creating a clear audit trail that is accessible to authorised staff.

Using Complaint Data

Review your complaint log quarterly. Look for patterns: Are complaints clustered around particular classes, venues, instructors, or time periods? Patterns reveal systemic issues that individual complaint resolution will never fix.

Building a Complaints Policy

A written complaints policy sets expectations for both your team and your customers.

What to Include

How to make a complaint (email address, phone number, in-person procedure)
What the parent can expect (acknowledgement within 24 hours, full response within 5 working days)
The investigation process
Escalation procedure (if the complainant is not satisfied with the initial response, who do they escalate to?)
Your commitment to learning from complaints and improving

Publish your complaints policy on your website and include it in your parent welcome pack. A visible complaints policy does not invite complaints. It signals that you are professional, transparent, and committed to getting things right.

Actionable Takeaways

Train your team on HEARD: Role-play complaint scenarios in your next staff meeting. Practise hearing without interrupting and empathising without defending. These are skills that need practice.
Write your complaints policy: If you do not have one, create one this week. One page is enough. Share it with your team and publish it.
Set up a complaint log: Even a simple spreadsheet. Start recording every complaint and review the data quarterly.
Check your social media: Google your business name. Check Facebook, Google Reviews, and any local parenting forums. If there are unaddressed complaints, respond now.